“What do you symbolize yourself and why?”

Answering this kind of question, I feel like I am in a beauty pageant. Hahaha! However, I can’t think of anything, any symbol that fits my personality and all. I first thought of a “mirror”.

A mirror because I’m one heck of a vain?! Haha! Yes I am! But that doesn’t explain a lot of my personality and I’m pretty sure this symbol has been used for ages, right? Or at least, I think most of us girls. And as well as guys too.

I had long debated the idea of what symbol I should represent myself with. As time passed by, a lot of symbols got into my mind! But what I really thought of was a Crown. And yeah! that made me feel I am in a beauty pageant and got crowned. kapal noh?! Anyway, you might be wondering, what the hell am I talking about? A CROWN?! Well, it’s unique, isn’t it? And i am UNIQUE!

i chose to be a “crown”, because I see myself as unique, mysterious and dominant person. I would probably have to say that I am unique, unique as a crown because not everybody can have it. I mean I have the personality that only few have it and flaunt it.

I also consider myself as dominant. For me a Crown is a symbol of dominance and I thought of a queen and a leader. I can see myself as a dominant person, a leader not to lead but to serve. Being considered as independent, has strong self reliant character. I have always been at home with my own dominance because I am the eldest. It has always been a part of me. Being an elder isn't so easy.

My parents taught me to do the chores at home and all. coz they're out for work. So we're left busy at home with very lazy and wild siblings. haha!

And At a young age, like I was 12 years old, I am trained to be one and learned to be on top not only had to be ambitious, hard working and proactive but resourceful also.

I was young I was not always taken seriously. So I had to be much better and much smarter and much stronger than everyone else. But sometimes I feel discouragement too because it is been a very large misconception that my “being dominant” means I am controlling, domineering and violent, when in fact, I personally I see these only as weaknesses. Because I believe that true dominance displays patience, a strong nurturing side, and while caring remains firm.

Honestly, I think I am not so sensitive about my actions and behavior. I mean I am sensitive but sometimes I’m out of control when i had fun. I know it’s really a mess of me. I would like to change it the other way around. I mean I want to be more mature and be sensitive in my actions towards others. I found myself very "FC" or “feeling close” to everyone especially those I’ve just met. Though my shyness is still there but when I get to know the person, I feel like I was out of my nut shell. I joke around and sometimes I can’t control myself and until it come to a point that I have already hurt a feeling of a person but didn’t mind at all. It’s kind of “half true and half jokes ba”. “Yun bang binalewala nalang sa isang tao yung naramdaman niya kahit nasaktan ko na siya, dahil nga tanggap na niya na ganyan talaga ako magsalita.” And of course I don’t want that. I’d rather want to be told than just ignoring the feelings of others, the person should tell me frankly that I have hurt him/her. And I’d feel sorry for that.

Are emotions and feelings the same thing?

i just want to share it with you, i have read an article about the difference of emotions and feelings; it said “The difference is that feelings are not associated to survival. Furthermore, they are context-specific responses shaped by the environment, culture, and society. Emotions can be measured through variations in blood pressure, heart rate variability, brain-imaging techniques, and electro-dermal response. Feelings are difficult to measure. Some examples of feelings are frustration, anticipation, jealousy, cynicism, worry, and optimism.”

I’m getting more confuse hey! Haha! But that’s just to let you know. Anyway I am so particular about feelings and emotions. Regardless of “having a sensitive feeling”, I mean “kahit napakasensitive ako at too emotional” I am not easily swayed by emotions and even if sentiments were running high, I can keep a cool head to weigh my approach. I am not overcome by anger or happiness. However I think my emotions are pretty well balanced, but I wanted to get somewhat emotional at times leaning towards depression and sadness. Hehehe! I want to have my own views of the world and while I do not see the beauty of life, I am not completely overwhelmed by darkness.

How do I think? Well, I think mature. And that’s a big deal to me. There was this person, 28 years old and a professional, told me that I am too mature at my age and admitted that I am more mature that he thought. Haha! :) That’s a compliment I should say. Right?! And having the personality of being dominant, I could really say that I am mature enough to think and do what I want to do and suppose to do morally. Along with I want to develop more of my thinking capabilities because I want to grow more to be a better citizen. And I do believe what Einstein said, “Your thoughts, they shape you.”